Chris Dufresne, college football analyst for The LA Times, has been humming a tune recently. And any true Trojan that happens to hear the music will instantly know the lyrics. It goes a little something like this: “U…C…L…A – SUCKS!” That sweet music is evident in Dufrense’s latest article titled UCLA football in need of a turnaround. And I quote:

A visit to Thursday’s spring practice was tellingly punctuated by the sight of quarterbacks Pat Cowan and Ben Olson leaving the field on the same golf cart. The team photographer, it seemed, missed a great opportunity to shoot the media guide cover.

For those of you who haven’t heard, both UCLA’s top quarterbacks were injured in non-contact drills on Thursday. It’s Cowan’s knee. It’s Olson’s ankle. With UCLA’s scrimmage at the Rose Bowl is this Saturday, this leaves junior transfer QB Kevin Craft to play with himself. Which is pretty much what the entire Bruin team would have been doing anyway.

The LA Times article goes on to say:

Let’s see, the Bruins lost 20-plus seniors off a 6-7 team…and, before September ends, UCLA will have faced Tennessee, Brigham Young and Fresno State. We’re not sure next year’s Bruins could qualify for the Lays Potato Chip Bowl–even if it existed.

But new Bruin head coach Neuheisel has a surefire plan for success. One that will take his failing program and turn it into one of the most successfull programs in college football history. And his secret weapon? It’s…Pete Carroll. In what Dufresne compares to Sun Tzu’s “Art of War”, Newheisel plans to use Carroll’s own methods against him.

“I have studied Pete the last several years,” Neuheisel said. “He had a plan and stuck to it. He sold, sold, sold and people bought in. It was no accident.”

Well, Neuheisel…you can steal Carroll’s offensive coordinator. You can steal his work-ethic, his playbook, his idealism. But you’ve forgot, young grasshopper, you’re missing the most important part of the equation. And that’s Pete Carroll himself. And that crucial element can never be duplicated.

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