In lieu of fresh content from us (it’s coming, promise), Everday Should Be Saturday shares Two or Three Things They Know About Notre Dame:

Ushers at Notre Dame, you may suck our ass. The red-stater in us, the free-wheeling libertarian who wants you off our land right now, stranger, the bottle-wielding redneck in us wanted to pummel these lost Shriners with the nearest heavy object on sight. Ushers at most other venues we’ve been to serve less as traffic controllers and more as referees, since grown adults may read the ticket, follow signs, and find their seat without difficulty. Their primary function: kicking the confused, very drunk and confused, and the outright fraudulently misplaced out of the incorrect seat, as well as the occasional call to security when someone decides to take out the frustration of the fourth INT of the day by calling an ISO Smash to a rival fan’s face.

These ushers serve as nannies, not only refusing to allow any and all funness to occur outside the student section, but actively quieting fans down and quashing standing. You want to know who Hitler’s willing accomplices were? These people. One minute they’re telling you to sit down, and the next minute they appear outside of your house asking where your neighbors are. Screw these people in the ear; in our perfect stadium, they’re thrown screaming off the upper deck by the angry masses.

Innocents Abroad: Two or Three Things We Know About Notre Dame, Pt. One [EDSBS]