TrojanWire is proud to introduce its newest correspondent, young Cole Leinart, whose position as the son of two of USC’s great student athletes — past and present — gives him a unique perspective on our raison d’etre — the lives, accomplishments, and accolades of Trojans past and present. And he’s a baby who can write at like, a 10th grade level, which is pretty cool. So we signed him up to write for us here.

After the jump, the inaugural edition of The Cole Leinart Report.

Thanks for the introduction guys. But a 10th grade level? I’m writing at least as well as most of the freshmen English students living in EVK. And did I mention — I’m a freakin’ baby and I’ve mastered colloquialisms and make virtually no punctuation or spelling errors, using a keyboard with like 12 keys — so don’t give me this sophomore in high school nonsense.

Alas, I won’t split hairs, as its Super Bowl week, and that’s always exciting — even I know that.

My dad is headed to Miami, where he won’t be playing in the Super Bowl, but does have the esteemed honor of coaching in something called the DirecTV Celebrity Beach Bowl against that Deion Branch guy, who used to have Tom Brady throwing to him, and now has Matt Hasselbeck. Gotta feel for him.

My dad is pretty excited about it — he gets to coach legends like Warren Moon, Steve Young, Michael Clarke Duncan, Doug Flutie, Daisy Fuentes, Stacey Keibler, Kim Kardashian (isn’t her dad O.J.’s good friend? I should ask my dad if he knows), and Bernie Mac. Although I think Bernie would be better suited in a home run derby contest or something like that — did you see him in that movie Mr. 3000? I mean, I know he only REALLY had like 2,997 hits, but still, that’s pretty impressive.

Anyways, dad’s going to hang out in Miami for awhile — somebody named ‘Diddy’ called daddy last week, and I guess he’s going to some party with him, Michael Jordan, and Billy Joel — although when I asked daddy how Billy Joel was going to get in, he said something about the National Anthem.

Meanwhile back in SoCal, mom is super-busy too — shooting 1,000 jump shots every day, trying to recover from her hip injury. At least I hope it was her hip injury. I’d feel really bad if it’s my fault that she’s not back to game-ready yet. And because she kept going to classes right until I was born, it looks like she might still graduate on time. Which is pretty cool, if you ask me.

But hey, what do I know? I’m just a baby.