Can’t make it to the game? I don’t care how lazy you are, you can damn well make it to your couch. If you love the rivalry and loathe the Bruins as much as we do, and you happen to be in the Los Angeles area this weekend, you can catch the USC-UCLA men’s basketball game live on CBS channel 2, starting at 12pm noon.

Don’t have cable? No problem. It’s a basic broadcast, all you need is an antenna. No antenna? Make your child strap tin-foil to his arms and hold them up for a couple hours. If your kid fatigues…he’s a loser, get a new one. That wiener kid of yours will never make a USC sports team when he grows up anyhow.