It’s all the rage in the sports blogosphere to rate the Super Bowl commercials. Personally I liked the talking baby, because I too was once a baby and I too have an irrational fear of clowns. Like the baby, the best commercials are the ones we can relate to. That’s why I’ve decided to post some USC-related commercials that cater to Trojan fans and USC rivalries in general. Some of them will enrage you. Some of them will make you laugh. And some of them will just make you wonder, what the hell? Click below to see some truly great Trojan-themed commercials…

First, the Cardinal and Gold

Halloween in Southern California

A classic USC/UCLA rivalry commercial from ESPN that promotes cruelty to children. Grade: A-, for lack of Trojan retribution. In the extended director’s cut, the kid returns with a flaming bag of dog poop. When the Bruin jerk comes outside, the kid chops of his feet with the sword…okay, maybe not, but that would have definitely made it an A.

USC/Notre Dame — Rivalry

Coke made something special with this feel good piece. Grade: A. I saw it and immediately wanted sushi, beer and USC football. And I didn’t even want to kick any Irish ass (which almost made me give it an A–). I once was lucky enough to watch a USC/UCLA game live in a sports bar in Amsterdam at like 2am, so it brought back some good *hazy* memories.

Not in My House

UCLA wins in this one, so at first I wanted to give it a C. But it is honestly too damn well made, funny, and really captures the spirit of the rivalry. So I’m going to have to give it a B+.

Neither here nor there.

Commercial HVAC and Heating Pumps

So they want to sell heating/AC units. College kids have them in their college dorm rooms and apartments, so someone thought, “HEY, THIS ONE’S GUNNA MAKE ME MILLIONS HONEY!” It’s better than the jump-to-conclusions mats. Until you realize that these kids could just uh…I don’t know…buy a $3 dollar poster. But hell, why not replace the whole air conditioner unit to show your college pride. Tax rebate checks should be coming in soon, so pump up the failing economy and air into your apartment at the same time! C-

Oh god, what were they thinking?

Blue and Gold Week

At some point in their inane school schedule, the kids at UCLA have something called the Blue and Gold week. Now, I don’t know what this is, and judging from this video, I don’t really want to find out. All I know is: when it comes to education, you get what you pay for. And this is why UCLA loses football…And why god hates them, for that matter. F–