But to really get me to the theater, I want beer. And liquor. And dinner. And not just at those special little indie theaters, I want it in every town in America. I want to know that in this great nation I can walk into any theater and meet a raucous bunch of drunks — which I already can do, but I want to know those drunks are paying the theater tons of money. And then I want to watch a second show without leaving, just like the old-time drive-thrus, and I want to sneer at people who buy the DVD on opening day so they can bring it home with a Starbucks and Chinese takeout. And I want a steak! A steak at my seat while I watch Michael Bay explode robots.