LANE KIFFIN MADE US ALL WINNERS TODAY

1–2 minutes

·

·

If the sorrow over Lane Kiffin’s departure becomes too much to bear, please remember the good times. Remember the gaffes over Kiffin’s complete lack of understanding of the NCAA rulebook. Remember the coaching so cautious it made Jim Tressel look like a pantless buccaneer swinging into battle with only a paper clip and bad intentions for protection. Remember the need to “build a brand” at a place standing on 90 plus years of solid branding.

Remember the sex fairies, please. And when all is at its darkest, remember most of all the orange Lambo, baby.

My, it’s hot in here! /waves chinese fan dramatically.

At the least, we have this: EDSBS won the cheese bet. Ironically enough, so did Rocky Top Talk, since they no longer have a mushmouthed lying sack of shit for a coach. What does a winner look like? This. Oh, and us, of course, on this the uncheesiest of days. We’re not doubling down, either. Have you any clue of what 12 ounces of cheese would do to our intestine? It would look like someone had put a thousand pounds of styrofoam peanuts in a wind tunnel, set them ablaze, and then cranked up the engine before uncorking the end in a spectacular backdraft effect.



Leave a comment

Feature is an online magazine made by culture lovers. We offer weekly reflections, reviews, and news on art, literature, and music.

Please subscribe to our newsletter to let us know whenever we publish new content. We send no spam, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

← Back

Thank you for your response. ✨

Designed with WordPress.