Sepp Blatter, the international dictator disguised as FIFA president, wrote a letter to Italy’s La Gazzetta dello Sport this week to warn the world that a failure to reelect him to a fourth term on the June 1 vote “could cause a tectonic movement with irreversible damage.” Let’s defer to him to set the stage for the early-onset soccerocalypse: More »

[Deadspin]