The Rapture is scheduled for tomorrow, and this is roughly the 17th time in my life that all of us were supposed to die according to some kind of vague, medieval prediction. All of these Rapture predictions, of course, are born of hubris. Everyone wants to believe that they will be alive during the most momentous events in human existence — namely, the end of the world and first contact with space aliens. Everyone wants to be a witness to something completely beyond their grasp. That’s why you have retards telling you that God is coming for the Big Payback, and why other yahoos go around telling you they got the ol’ tractor-beam-and-anal-probe combo platter. More »

[Deadspin]