10.) Trophy can be used as ID at airports.

9.) Now, when coach gives me pointer, fun to say, “And how many Heismans have you won?”

8.) Lifetime supply of pigskin.

7.) Microchip in the trophy gets me thru E-Z Pass.

6.) The trophy holds 10,000 songs.

5.) Now maybe somebody on the team will get a date besides pretty boy Matt Leinart.

4.) Steinbrenner’s trying to get me to sign with the Yankees.

3.) I now have the world’s most valuable paperweight.

2.) I have the secret code for “Madden NFL 2006” that lets me see John Madden naked.

1.) You’re the only Bush with an approval rating over 40%.

Presented by 2005 Heisman Trophy winner Reggie Bush on “The Late Show with David Letterman” on Monday, December 12, 2005.