Mmm….that Texan envy sure is sweet

Fascinating (and not at all cliche or trite) insights on California from John Kelso of the Austin-American Statesman–a paper whose readership is surpassed by the local student newspaper:

Except for fanny tucks and other plastic surgeries, there really isn’t much that passes for culture in Southern California, a godforsaken stretch of parched wildfire and smog habitat.

If it hadn’t been for desperate people like the Joads moving to California from somewhere else, there would be no reason for California to exist. Like Florida, it’s one of America’s dumping grounds, a place losers run off to when they can’t make it back home and their relatives kick them out of the house.

In case you’re wondering, here’s a photo of Mr. Kelso getting ready for the big game.

Kyle Bunch

Partnerships for R/GA Ventures. Raised in California, adopted by Texas. Opinions expressed here are mine and they are fantastic.

4 thoughts on “Mmm….that Texan envy sure is sweet

  1. I went to school in Austin, and Kelso is your typical provincial retarded Austin fan — can’t believe he’s even still living, let alone working. He doesn’t realize his city has become just another giant boring Texas city of suburbs, right up there with Dallas and Houston — sad, because it used to be a neat town, a long time ago. San Diego with no beach is what it has become. Although I will be rooting for U.T., your blog is about 10,000% more entertaining than anything coming out of that State.

  2. You’re too kind.

    Come to think of it, last time I was in Austin, I read some other crazy Kelso piece. I remember the schmoey looking cap and scraggly beard in his headshot.

  3. Is USC still trying to fabricate a cause to get up for this game? Pretty pathetic if you ask me. Of all the schools UT played this year, USC is the only one I have seen where their fans keep trying to make some “disrespect” of their state as a reason to “get up” for the game.

    John Kelso is a “good ‘ol boy” columnist for the Austin American Statesman. He always has country sayings for things and his column is very entertaining.

    I am surprised he would make those comments. I didn’t read that in his column. But California makes the same kind of stereotypical comments about Texas.

    I think your fans are trying to find something to get mad at Texas for in order to get up for the game. Try just getting up for the game due to pride. You will feel a lot better.

  4. Kelso is a tool – most people in Texas aren’t that fond of him.

    Just an FYI about the ‘pic’ of Kelso you have. It is a doctored picture of an OU fan who is mentally challenged and who goes to all of the OU baseball games. It is one thing to rip Kelso, I’m all for it, but don’t use people who can’t defend themselves. It makes you look like a small person.

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