The wrath of Texas

2–3 minutes

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Stewart Mandel did a piece called “The Great Wide Open” in which he detailed 16 teams, not the top 16, but 16 teams he thought could win the national championship (if a few things go their way).

He conveniently left off Texas because he didn’t think they had a shot at the title.
Auburn Cal Clemson Florida State Georgia Tech Iowa Louisville Miami Michigan Nebraska Notre Dame Ohio State South Carolina USC Utah West Virginia

Today, he answers the mailbag from Texas.

You don’t think it’s a bit of a stretch to include the likes of Clemson, Georgia Tech, Nebraska, South Carolina and Utah on the so-called “contenders” list? How in your right mind can you place those second-tier programs above the defending national champions?
— Jeff, Conroe, Texas

I think we’re all in agreement that the Longhorns are still one of the best teams in the country. But to repeat as national champions, they’d have to buck all conventional logic (and several decades of history) and do so while starting a freshman quarterback. All the teams on this list have question marks, but in most cases they’re things — a questionable secondary, a mediocre running game — that can be improved from one season to the next. A freshman quarterback, on the other hand, can’t get a year older. As we’ve seen, freshman QBs are usually inconsistent and mistake-prone, and that’s not in the recipe for a national title. That doesn’t mean the ‘Horns won’t finish higher than many of the teams on this list — they just won’t finish No. 1.

Stewart: Was wondering if you lost your mind or were just born a retard…. Where’s Texas?
— Garrett

Oh, c’mon, now you’re just being nitpicky. What does it matter which one I am? Maybe we should move on to other topics….

If you really put all those teams and chose to leave Texas out then you’re a f—— retard.
— Edmund, Austin, Texas

What’s with you Texas people and the word retard? Did your teacher let you out early for recess today, Edmund? On a more serious note … umm, is this a bad time to mention I’m going to be in Austin next week for a story?

Clearing up confusion [SI.com]

7 responses to “The wrath of Texas”

  1. DJ has been reinstated by the NCAA! No suspension, just repaying what he gained by Matt’s dad covering part of his rent!

    http://usctrojans.cstv.com/sports/m-footbl/spec-rel/080906aaa.html

  2. Retard is the first word a Texan learns, there’s so much inbreeding they get the rest of the country confused with they’re cousin/sister, uncle/brother, grandmother/niece… “AND” everybody’s a retard!

  3. I guess most people still thinks Texas as a 3rd rate team, Like they are the so what Champs, not like whem Oklahoma, Ohio St., or Miami, and USC won everybody went out and bought gear from those schools…. The only people buying Texas gear are quirs and steers!

  4. Hey I bought Texas gear just so my dog can piss on it! I mean nobody really wears it….do they? Burnt ornage. I’ve seen North Carolina Tar heels get better respect than those pretentders I bet they end up in the Freedom Bowl Go NC!

  5. It’s somewhat amusing that the posts by Z and “Big Guns” both contain errors of punctuation and spelling.
    Z: Look up the difference between “they’re” and “their.” Also, semicolons and commas do not serve the same grammatical function.
    Mr. Gun: Repeat 5th grade. Please.

  6. you still got the point! piss off pencil dick

  7. Yo Alex… fuck what your going through, Don’t get side track on some bullshit!

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