Here’s your Action News Pac-10 Power Rankings for Week 5. The Bruins/Huskies and Sun Devils/Bears games account for most of the movement on our charts. This week we’ve got 5 Pac-10 games to follow — finally!

T-Wire/Action News Pac-10 Power Rankings – Week 5

1.) USC

Great Odin’s raven! Pete Carroll has a defense allowing only 9 points/game.

2.) Oregon

With a bye last week, the Ducks were busy sending out invitations to their pants party. Sadly, UCLA, eventhough invited — did not attend — deciding to get their ass-kicked by Washington instead.

3.) Cal

ASU must have insulted Dorothy Mantooth or something, because for the first time this year, Cal looked to be playing with something more than just spite over a flawed ratings system, and the fact that they don’t take in account houses that have… uh… more than two television sets… and other things of that nature.

4.) Arizona State

There were horses, and a man on fire, and the ASU Sun Devils got killed with their own trident. Seriously, we think this could be the aftermath of an Oregon Duck invasion. After losses to Cal and Oregon, Arizona State will be smelling like Bigfoot’s dick.

5.) Washington

Took the lady to Pleasure Town, and then abandoned her on Whore Island. If UCLA wasn’t such a sweet chinchilla, maybe we’d move U Dub ahead of ASU.

6.) (TIE) Arizona

Ok, so we were a bit too high on the Wildcats at the start of the year — but maybe just a bit ahead of the curve. Arizona came to play against USC, and if the offense comes together, they could deliver a Whammy to Cal or Oregon late in the season. Bears and Ducks, you’ve been warned.

6.) (TIE) UCLA

Faced their first tough matchup, collapsed like a girl who just starred in a Dustin Diamond porno. Well Bruin fans, at least they didn’t drag the tease out as long as last season.

8.) Washington State

Absolutely owned Stanford. Hopefully everybody got enough prep/rest for a much tougher matchup this week against Papa Bear.

9.) Oregon State

Crushed the Idaho Vandals. Woo-hoo! Roll on Beav!

10.) Stanford

The odds that Walt Harris will be coaching in Palo Alto next year are inching closer to even with every passing week. Loose translation of the conversation between two Stanford groundskeepers: “These guys are shitty!”