Game 1: USC vs. IdaWHO???!

Idaho Vandals.jpg

When first checking the Trojans 2007 football schedule, the same thing popped into my mind that probably crossed many of yours’. Ummm…there’s some sort of mistake here. It says USC is opening against Idaho. Not Arkansas or Auburn or Virginia Tech or Penn State but…Idaho? What conference are they in? Are they even a division I-A team? Did Pete Carroll get drunk before deciding the schedule? Wait…am I drunk now?

We’re now two days before kick-off and the schedule still stands and I am still drunk. The USC Trojans are set to host the Idaho Vandals at the coliseum in front of a national television audience. On paper it appears to be one of the most miss-matched games of the college football season: USC is a 45 point favorite. And man to man, USC’s got to have an average of some four inches and 40 pounds above Idaho. But somehow despite the thrashing that will be delivered come Saturday, despite the bruises and aches and icings that await the Vandal players on Saturday night, Idaho coach Akey knows the Vandals will come out on top. This single game, no matter what the outcome, will be the best thing to happen to the Vandals since…well…ever.


After a successful 2003 season, USC Linebackers coach Nick Holt left the Trojans to take up a head-coaching job. His new team, the Idaho Vandals, was in desperate need of a tune-up. They needed help; something to pull them out of there usual slump…something to pull them out of WAC and national obscurity. So Holt went to his friend Pete Carroll and proposed the match-up; a game he very well knew the Vandals would most likely lose.

But winning was never the point. Holt wanted to put Moscow, Idaho on the college football map.
(Yes I said Moscow…apparently they still think mother Russia won the cold-war up there). He knew Pete Carroll’s Trojans would still be a national powerhouse. He knew this game would draw a lot more than the 20,000 typically in Idaho attendance. Pete Carroll, of course, agreed.

Carroll had always like Holt, he liked his coaching style and wanted to help him any way possible. In fact Carroll liked him so much in 2006 he offered Holt his job back – with a big raise and a promotion. So after just two seasons with the Vandals (5-18 under Holt), Nick Holt skipped Moscow to rejoin the top ranked Trojans.

Now the Idaho players that Holt recruited are on the other side of the line. It’s like a Kung-Fu movie premise gone horribly awry:

Once abandoned by the man sworn to protect them, the Idaho Vandals will again meet their former master…this time on the greatest battle field in college football.

Although there’s no way in hell the Vandal underdogs will triumph over the Trojans in this Saturday’s story-line, at least no one is going to say “IdaWHO?” anymore. From Saturday forth they’ll be a national name. Instead of Ida-who people will be saying:

“Yeah…Idaho. I remember them. Man they got their ass handed to them by the Trojans!”

twiredepo

18 thoughts on “Game 1: USC vs. IdaWHO???!

  1. Jay, you’re the only real dumbass here. For one, I believe USC’s schedule was voted eighth toughest in the nation by Sports Illustrated. With road games at Nebraska, Cal and Notre Dame…

    LSU plays like what Mississipi State and Louisianna Tech. And what about Florida?..They have a whopping Western Kentucky and Florida Atlantic.

    Jay…you’re an idiot who has grew up with too many “Jay is Gay” taunts on the playground…but that’s okay. Go on and live your mediocre life. Why strive for greatness, when you can just be Jay?

  2. Correction Ted, our Senators are not fucked up but rather just fucked in the ass.

    Here is a side note you may be interested in, the name “Vandals” was a last minute change from the originally approved name: “Butt Vandals.” Kinda has a ring to it doesn’t it.

    Yours in gayness, Larry Craig, US Senator, Idahole

    p.s. I am not gay

  3. Hey, Idaho has had some great teams over the years. When Dennis Erickson coached them they won at least one national titles (Div 1AA) when John Friesz was the QB. I grew up in Moscow, and let me tell you, the Kibbie Dome was THE place to be on a Saturday afternoon in the late 80s. The Vandals were a hell of a lot of fun back then. That said… they’re going to get ROLLED UP on Saturday. Fight on!

  4. You are not kidding about the Vandals. They had this really great player named Spuds McKenzie. I am telling you when he had a Lay, he couln’t have just one; you know what I mean. His special moves were the Krinkle Cut, the Idaho Wedge, the Julianne Slice, the Pocatello Papa, and the French Friar.

  5. Come on now, we know it’s a mismatch, however you guys need to get off your Pac-10 high horse, pun intended. Being an Idaho Alum who went to school with the likes of John Frieze, Jeff Robinson and others, I love seeing our boys play a bigger, better team. Sure the Trojans should have no issues playing little old Idaho, but Idaho has a bit of a legacy when playing bigger schools that underestimate them. When Idaho was I-AA we beat several 1A schools in just such a match up. Yeah, we’ve been through the ringer since moving up and I’d love to see the Big Sky conference back, but we deal with what we have. Don’t forget the stellar record old Nick Holt left us with.

    Make fun of us all you want, we’re still going to give it all we have. Bonus is that we all still get to come home to beautiful Idaho and you pompous SoCal schmucks still live in the plastic asshole of the world.

    GO VANDALS

  6. everybody plays busters, we just happen to get stuck with idaho. oh shit! i see stupid jay is being stupid jay! get ready for a season long of unimportant shit and comments. ignore him

  7. Since Senator Craig has come out of the closet he’s announced he’s moving to L.A. to “better fit in” with you pecker smokers.

    USC has got nothing on us.

    Go Vandals.

  8. A typical LaLa land “article” if you want to call it that. Normally I don’t bother with “stuff” like you wrote, because I consider the source. When I do that it’s kind of like sweeping “road kill” off the highway. At any rate your “stuff” is what I would expect from a USC (or is that SUC) type.
    Keep up the great work. Your point of view is always great for comic relief and truly indicative of what you are.

  9. Our boys, the Butt Vandals, did us proud. They went to the land of plenty and got their fudge packed. Come on home boys, you sister/wife is awaiting and all you little kids/nephews are here too; gotta love that inbreeding.

    Say goodbye to indoor plumbing and sidewalks and come on back to your girlfriend/sheep.

    Yours in Idaho gayness, Senator Craig.

  10. the author of this article is a fagget. ya we think russia won the cold war, and to top it off we think that were part of the C.S.A. confederate states of america. californian peice of shit. if idaho is so bad why do all those worthless cali fucks keep moving up here?

  11. the author of this article is a fagget. ya we think russia won the cold war, and to top it off we think that were part of the C.S.A. confederate states of america. californian peice of shit. if idaho is so bad why do all those worthless cali fucks keep moving up here?

  12. the author of this article is a fagget. ya we think russia won the cold war, and to top it off we think that were part of the C.S.A. confederate states of america. californian peice of shit. if idaho is so bad why do all those worthless cali fucks keep moving up here?

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